Tuesday 28 February 2012

Thank you John Lewis

It has been too long since I updated the blog with all the things that I've been busy with...

Thanks too the inspirational Sian Mullen http://sianmullenphotography.blogspot.com/ I have taken up all things crafty such as cross stitch, decoupage and I've even learned how to use a sewing machine!
I've recently moved house and have a project list that seems bottomless... There are cushions covers to make and the actual cushions to go inside, cross stitched wall hangings to finish off, corks boards to make and pillow covers too... 

... sadly there just aren't enough hours in the day to make all the things I want to make and work full time whist attempting to make art work, let alone time for things like cooking, cleaning and washing!

On a recent trip to John Lewis a walk through the wall paper section reaked some serious havock as I proceeded to fall in love with a beautiful wall paper that only costs a mere £95 per roll! I then bought Kirstie's home made home (Book form) and low and behold, there was a room with walls covered by this amazing wallpaper. I took this to be a sign. I needed to get a sample.

Upon an even more recent visit to John Lewis I saw that people were able to get samples and decided to help myself to a slightly larger that usual sample. I legged it out of that department faster than you can cry "THIEF!" I do feel incredibly bad but it's not like a don't spend money there.

I know right? Listen to me justify my wrong actions!
I did a bad thing, I feel bad. But the cupboard in my kitchen has a wonderful new lease of life that it almost feels worth it!

This weekend I single-handedly sanded, varnished and then admired my own handiwork. The cupboard looks so much better that I didn't know whether it needed the wallpaper... but it would be a shame not to. After all, the damage was done and the wallpaper sitting in the corner of the room was too tempting!

So here it is, the wooded cabinet in all of it's new glory.



Friday 24 February 2012

"Ooops, I am become death, the destroyer of worlds" says an artist.

Please read this article from the latest issue of Art Review.
In it the artist writes about how he had Gaddafi killed for buying a large quantity of his artwork and apologises for the events that took place in Libya. Fictional or not? It is both comical and cringe worthy at the same time.

Jonathan Grossmalerman

Issue 56, January & February 2012. See the entire magazine online here.


By Jonathan Grossmalerman


Let me begin by saying that I never, ever thought all those people would die. Now, some of you may be aware that I dabble in sculpture. You know, when the inspiration strikes. Well, the other day I made an inexplicable departure from vaginas, titties and penises (sometimes apart, often together) and devised a 20-foot gleaming stainless-steel arc honed to a razor’s edge. It was a whim, really. I just figured it would be a cool thing to have. It was! ‘A gleaming gesture of ill intent’, The New York Times called it.


Like many artists, I am drawn to the macabre, to death. It’s the king of all subject matter. But for real death to happen in front of you is another matter entirely. The awful screaming and unnatural gurgling sounds. The odd popping noises that I didn’t know accompany death. The pleading. The hours of pleading. The dying really don’t know when to shut up. It was easily the worst day of my fucking life. But I’m getting ahead of myself.


I had only just sent the picture to my gallery when they made the sale. That’s how good this piece was. I called my preferred art-moving company to come pack and ship it, and we quickly found out that the sculpture could not be moved without… well… death! It took a few tries to be absolutely sure, and it could be argued that I should have listened to the crew chief, but frankly I was put off by his ginger hair and sourpuss demeanour.


“Look, mister, it’s very obviously impossible. Its weight distribution is crazy, it’s precariously placed and while it’s certainly beautiful, it looks like it could be extremely sharp.”


He carelessly ran his fingers across the sculpture’s edge, sliced the tips of his index and middle fingers off and screamed like a plump child.


“You were hired to solve a problem. If you can’t do that, I need you to leave,” I said.


His tone changed: “We’ll get it done. It’s tough times out there, and frankly we can’t afford to lose another big job.”


He called in two underlings and directed them to move the piece. After contemplating the task ahead, the taller of the two set to work and immediately sliced off both hands. Slipping in his own blood, he fell forward, cleaving his face on its razor edge. He wasn’t dead, but he was stuck, and he screamed for someone to please help him. It was mostly a bubbling howl that we had to conclude was a cry for help. In any case, we decided it was. In the meantime his screaming became more purposeful.


“Good God! This is awful! Aren’t you going to do anything?!” I asked, full of empathy for the poor man.


“Get him,” the ginger one said to the other.


The young man walked carefully over to the writhing figure. He placed his hands on his colleague’s wrenching shoulders and pulled with all his might. His shifting weight caused him to slip comically, and his leg was severed midcalf. A gaping popliteal artery spat blood everywhere like some demonic champagne bottle. He seemed almost surprised by his situation. His eyes fixed on me as he began to crawl towards us. Wailing melodramatically, the victim managed only a couple of feet before the life had gushed out of him. Seven more died that day. Some quickly, some over the course of hours. Living, loving art handlers. Human beings with hopes and dreams and fears and regrets just like you or me. Perhaps they had weekend plans. A softball game they were particularly looking forward to. Maybe a quiet Sunday with the family. It’s entirely conceivable. One moment they were just going about their day picking up an awkwardly heavy razor arc and delivering it to a collector’s Dallas estate, and then… indescribable horror.


I’m really sorry.

Tuesday 29 November 2011

Frieze

So a bit delayed to be sure but here are my favorite pieces from the Frieze:










Monday 15 August 2011

Photo Taking Extraveganza 2

Here are the photos I selected for last month's Photo Taking Extraveganza....

Bloom


Home


Blue


Wood


Urban


In Bloom 2


Movement

Contradiction
Self

Black

Water

Love


Sunday 3 July 2011

Bloom



Urban




Photo Taking Extravaganza!

One of my friends has started up a group on facebook, where we upload a photo for each theme at the end of the month. The most popular photographer then pics the themes for next month's photos and so forth. This has really excited me as I've basically been highly unproductive since the last burst of enthusiasm. I've decided to use the hipstamatic app on my phone instead of carrying around my big camera. Perhaps next month I can try that instead.

The themes are as follows:

1. In Bloom

2. Blue

3. Still Life

4. Self

5. Wood

6. Urban

7. Home

8. Love

9. Black

10. Contradiction

11. Movement

12. Woman

13. Man

14. Water

15. In Bloom 2
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.4887105599.1055.514660599#!/home.php?sk=group_133612373386164&ap=1